This isn't tough love.

If you cry easy or get turned off by strong language you're not going to want to read this. I need to get this off my chest.

It's inconsiderate to ask my advice and not really give two shits about what I'm saying to you. Acting like you care because you feel like you should is wasting my time.

I really don't like that.

I cannot tell you how many women ask my advice on nutrition and fitness. Mostly it's the same repeat offenders asking me the SAME questions over and over. It's always the same people who say things like "I just don't know how you do it."

Guess what? I just do it, I don't bitch like a little pussy and whine that I never look good in a bathing suit.

This isn't tough love, this is tough life.

You wouldn't believe the shit I've been through, it would probably give you all heart attacks to know the things that have happened to me, you deal with it and become better.

You want something, you work hard for it.

Nothing pisses me off more then people who just "read" about fitness and nutrition. You should educate yourself, you should learn as much as you can about your body and what you put in it, but you talking/reading about it isn't you doing it.

If you don't give a fuck about your body why should I give a fuck about it?

"But I want to drink a bottle of wine every night…"

Ok I can see why.

Anytime you say, "But I like, I want to, but can't I just…" my ears shut you off. You want to get your pleasure from pizza, candy and booze, do it, you'll look like you get your pleasure in life from pizza, candy and booze.

I don't think I could ever be a trainer. As much as I love the thought I just have zero tolerance for laziness and excuses.

I know it's fucking hard, you think I don't?! I was fat! I was sick and depressed and so out of shape it was ridiculous. I've lost 40lbs pounds and kept it off, I didn't do that by saying "Yeah but I want to eat cake or I'm tired I'll do it tomorrow."

All the people that bitch to me about how hard it is to be fit, I'm going to start telling them to fuck off. I just don't want to hear it anymore. My middle finger is gonna get a lot of extra exercise.

Buck up and take care of yourself or shut up about it.

You don't have to be nazi about your training and there is a time and place to celebrate and party. You just don't celebrate everyday.

If you don't care about really committing yourself to new principles and ideals then quit being a poser. Quit wasting your money on workout DVDs you never do and fitness mags for routines you never follow. Quit cutting out pictures of bodies you idolize and liking every fucking post on Facebook from a fitness model. And for god sakes stop getting a gym membership you never use. Just stop it.

I never want to hear another person tell me how tired they are and how they "just don't have time." I get up at 4:30 am and make time. I work 10hrs normal, in a high stress environment and deal with some of the shittiest people on the planet.

Make time or stop complaining.

You want advice, respect who you are asking. You want help then take it when it's graciously offered. But don't you dare make excuses, because that's like you spitting in someones face.

I'm into a ton of other things. Music, Art, Gaming. Small talk to me about the Weather, Politics, Religion if you feel brave, but stop talking fitness with me if you don't care. I just can't take being your empathetic cheerleader anymore.

You're so vain, you probably think this post is about you.

Last post I talked about the "why" and today I'm going to talk about the "how".

How do you stay motivated to hit your goals and keep a steady routine of exercise and eating healthy?

Well I can't speak for everyone else, so I'm going to tell you how I got started and how I always kick myself in the butt when I'm slacking.

The simple answer is vanity.

There is no reason to sugarcoat it and in fact it's being honest about vanity that makes going to the gym that much easier.

I'm going to be very open and honest about this because I think people get the wrong side of a lot of these "transformation" stories. I wasn't obese. I was far from healthy, but I never got to that point where a doctor was telling me if I didn't loose weight I'd develop diabetes. I did have high blood pressure problems from stress, but my doctors never told me cardio alone could elevate that. It was all a talk about bad genetics.

The reason I started on my path to fitness was because I thought it would make my boyfriend at the time love me more. This is as plain as I can be on the matter.

I didn't feel good about myself, I was crazy self conscience and hated how I looked in everything I wore. I was ashamed to be with such a cute guy and feel so frumpy next to him. He NEVER said a word about my weight, never criticized me or told me I could lose a few pounds, but I felt he didn't love me as much because I wasn't as beautiful as I could be.

When I started my training with Terri Walsh she made me do something really important and that was admitting why I was there to train.

"To get healthy!" is what I spouted out and to a point that was very true, but it really wasn't the reason I was there.

I remember Terri looking at me and saying "Yeah ok, but why are you really here."

I didn't understand, wasn't wanting to be healthy enough? She forced me to think about it, she forced me to admit it and it was the most freeing thing that happened in my body breakthrough.

"You want to look cute in a pair of skinny jeans, that's why you're here." Terri said.

She was completely and totally right. I wanted to go into a clothing store and love everything I put on. I wanted to look in the mirror at a naked me and not completely cringe. I wanted to look good!

Terri taught me that vanity is probably the greatest motivator for keeping true to your fitness and eating. Mostly importantly that it's okay, vanity with discipline is not a bad thing!

Vanity is a large part of how my decisions are made. Do I want to binge eat or look amazing in a bathing suit? The answer isn't hard to come to when you look at things that way.  I WANT a cute butt, I can forgo pizza for that and do a serious leg workout twice a week. That's why sticking to a plan is easy for me. I'm vain and open about it with myself.

Now health is a big part, but it's almost like the extra awesome bonus. I can't see my heart or my cholesterol. Someone can measure them with a machine and take my blood, but I can't look in the mirror and say "Damn my arteries are fantastic today!"

I can however look in the mirror at how flat my stomach is and how defined my shoulders are getting. Why do you think there are always so many mirrors at the gym? Don't kid yourself, those are not all for form... those are to gawk at progress to pump yourself up!

I don't have the highest self-esteem and that's how I've fallen unto scary places with making food a security blanket, but I've learned from that and now force myself to answer questions about my looks before I slip.

The sooner you admit to wanting to look awesome the easier it will be to stay looking awesome.
Take pictures of yourself often, it will force you to keep yourself in check and accountable!

Next stop for me is a full length mirror, it's been long enough I think I'm over my fear now.

Inspiration from Your Equals

Tonight I got inspired to write a little bit about fitness progress. I realize I LOVE seeing people reach their goals. Something about it not only inspires me but makes me super happy.

I know a lot of women who see or compare themselves other women and instantly feel terrible (I think we all indulge in that pity part every now and then.) The thing is when I want a little boost I always find myself looking at pics of everyday women who have taken charge of their bodies and transformed themselves.

Before and after pics are a little bit of an addiction to me. I can get sucked into reading every story of every person's journey so easily! The thing is it never makes me hate my body or gets me down. I always feel a surge of confidence when I see how far others have come, especially people who've transformed even more then I have.

Seeing others and their progress always puts things into perspective for me. I find myself doing a little mental check list of my goals and asking myself if I'm on track. Also it helps me to stop myself from emotional eating and can even pump me up for my own workouts. I don't look to athletes as much as I look to my own peers!

I think it's a really fantastic way to look at fitness too. An athlete or anyone in a fitness magazine is paid to look amazing. Their whole life revolves on strict diet and exercise, they should look incredible! But the single mom, the overworked college student, the married couple that decides to motivate each other, these are the people I look to for most of my inspiration. These people have a life filled with all the complications and headaches we all face and they aren't paid to look awesome. I always find myself saying "If they can reach their goals so can I!"

My life will always be stressful. I'll probably always be operating on just not enough sleep. I'm almost always sore and yes I will always love chocolate, but these things don't have to be the reasons I can't take care of myself.

Fitness is a part of life, it shouldn't be viewed as a luxury. You don't need a fancy gym to workout and you don't need a nutritionist to eat clean whole foods. Sure you might need a motivation boost every now and then and for that I say look to all the other people out there who at one point said, "I'm done looking and feel terrible I'm changing." It's that simple and seriously always get's me going with a smile.

LiveFit Week 1 overview:: The important practice of will power

The start to my LiveFit training has been successful. Jamie has constructed the program to ease you in to completely changing the way you eat (and for some working out).

After my first week the biggest change for me is diet. Not with what I eat, but how frequently and how much. I can understand why this is only a 12 week program, I can't imagine eating with this frequency for the long term. I understand the concept of upping metabolism and confusing the body into using food as fuel in the most efficient way possible.

All I can say is LiveFit is not for the casual gym goer nor for someone who lacks discipline.

I'd go as far as saying I definitely wouldn't recommend even doing this program until you've trained yourself with just going to the gym on a regular basis and practiced eating a healthy 3 meals a day for at least a year. I can see the average person getting really flustered on this regimen, because I know it's already taxing for me.

I realized as I started this past week to even keep on top of my eating in conjunction with my work scheduled I'd have to cook as many meals in advance as possible. My life is mostly commuting and working so the kitchen doesn't factor in. I've dedicated my Saturdays to food planning and shopping and my Sundays to cooking.

This worked out really great last week and this week I should be solid until Thursday rolls around. I might have to get creative on Friday and hit the market again we'll see. I've taken a few of Jamie's recipes and modified them to fit my veggie diet and I'll say right now they've worked out fabulous.

Even this all this extra eating I have found that I'm getting the groove. I'm not always hungry and smaller amounts of food do satisfy me. Sometimes I do have to force myself to eat though. The first few days were the hardest as I'm not use to eating a full breakfast and then hitting the gym and then eating again.

Like I said the nutrition is going to be the hardest for me with this training, least right now. The workout routines are currently not as taxing as what I usually put myself through and I'm assuming that because the intensity will change as the weeks go on.

Today I tried to read ahead in the plan and I see I'm going to have to invest in a food scale and log. It's fine, but I can tell the reason this works will come down to a strict science in macronutrients and carb cycling. Something I've never done, but have read about. It's not a way of life, but I've committed myself to trying to follow this program as strict as possible.

I'm actually not trying to lose weight, I'm trying to gain. I know that sounds insane, but I wanted to see how much muscle I could gain and I know that I needed help with the nutrition part the most. Doing this program is really more about will power and discipline for me. I know that every now and again I need to force myself to uphold a certain code. There is something about resisting urge and training your mind in conjunction with training your body.

Will power is learned and if you never practice it you'll never be good at it. It's very much a skill and it's taken me quite a while to except that. Knowing you have control is very powerful, but you have to commit. I'm already feeling good about some things that happened this week that were intensely stressful and I did not falter. I did not comfort myself with bad food and drink.

Tomorrow will be day 10 of 84 and I'm feeling great. I'm confident I'll finish this week off just as strong and I'm looking forward to more intense workouts.

Open Minded Goals - The Scale is NOT the End All be All

I want you all to know I am writing some posts about food. I haven't posted anything truly diet related yet because talking about food is complicated (not in general, just sometimes explaining it can be). I'm trying to be very thoughtful of the content of the posts so for right now they are still unfinished.

I mention this because I've gotten some inquires on my diet and I think it's just as important to talk about eating in general before going into what is working for me. So I just want to say, I'm in the process of writing some diet entries, just sit tight :)

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Today's post is about goal setting.

Goals are something we use to measure success and failure in our lives. In fitness, however, as long as you are still participating, you really can't fail. It's the great thing about it. The only way you can fail at fitness goals is to stop being active.

That might sound strange, because most people's fitness goals are related to body image, which has stronger roots in nutrition. They think if they can't lose 10lbs in a month they've failed a fitness goal. Because of the instantaneous nature of everything in our lives, people will take time out the equation to reaching their accomplishments.

Our bodies are not instant. It took your mother 9 months alone just to create you, changing yourself takes time too!

The other thing about body related fitness goals, specifically weight related ones, are they are temporary. No matter how long it takes you, once you've lost your X amount of weight you've reached that goal. What else is there? This is why once you start an exercise regiment it's important to be more open minded about your goals then just reaching a certain weight.

I had tunnel vision when I started my new lifestyle. The scale was all that mattered to me. I wasn't even thinking about all the other things I was accomplishing. Then once I started losing weight I realized the scale wasn't always parallel to how I felt. Most women would tell you 140lbs is huge, but here I was fitting into a size 4 pair of jeans that was loose in the waist!

I really started changing my fitness goals after I lost 20lbs. I realized body fat % was more important then what the scale said. I started wanting to be stronger and wanting to accomplish harder exercises.

The great thing about fitness is while you get healthier and stronger, you might be accomplishing feats you're not even aware of. Mostly because you don't know you can do them until you try!

Perfect example: I am not a runner, in fact I dislike it. I find it boring in comparison to forms of exercise and I've never been very good at it. When I first started to exercise I could maybe, on a good day, run non-stop at a decent pace for 10 mins. About a month ago I was really tired, it was a week where I had hit the gym once. That night when I got home I felt terrible, but was going to force my body to do some cardio. I stepped on the treadmill for the 1st time probably 5 months and was shocked. Not only could I run at almost 6 mph, I did it for 40 mins without stopping.

That is a goal I never had, but because of my training in general it's something I know I can do now.

This is probably the most exciting thing about fitness. You become less afraid. I've gained so much confidence just from training I'm less afraid to try new things. I started to want to try things I could never do.

When I meet people's who only fitness goal is to lose weight for a certain time of year or a special event I worry they won't keep  it up. It's not like once you lose weight it's gone forever, keeping up with nutrition & exercise means you don't have to go through that grueling first month ever again. Your life will have ups & downs, but if you work to at least try to keep your body stable when nothing else in your life is, getting through those times will be so much less stressful.

So if you're thinking the only thing that matters to you right now is what the scale is it's ok. It's natural (especially for us ladies) to try to fit our bodies it to this perception of perfect. All I can tell you is that the scale does not tell you how far you can run, or how much weight you can curl. It doesn't tell you what size jeans you are fitting into or how healthy you are. So don't place all your hopes and dreams into it.

Every day you decided to take care of yourself, you are coming closer to being a person you may never imagined you could be. I know, I still amaze myself every day :)