This isn't tough love.

If you cry easy or get turned off by strong language you're not going to want to read this. I need to get this off my chest.

It's inconsiderate to ask my advice and not really give two shits about what I'm saying to you. Acting like you care because you feel like you should is wasting my time.

I really don't like that.

I cannot tell you how many women ask my advice on nutrition and fitness. Mostly it's the same repeat offenders asking me the SAME questions over and over. It's always the same people who say things like "I just don't know how you do it."

Guess what? I just do it, I don't bitch like a little pussy and whine that I never look good in a bathing suit.

This isn't tough love, this is tough life.

You wouldn't believe the shit I've been through, it would probably give you all heart attacks to know the things that have happened to me, you deal with it and become better.

You want something, you work hard for it.

Nothing pisses me off more then people who just "read" about fitness and nutrition. You should educate yourself, you should learn as much as you can about your body and what you put in it, but you talking/reading about it isn't you doing it.

If you don't give a fuck about your body why should I give a fuck about it?

"But I want to drink a bottle of wine every night…"

Ok I can see why.

Anytime you say, "But I like, I want to, but can't I just…" my ears shut you off. You want to get your pleasure from pizza, candy and booze, do it, you'll look like you get your pleasure in life from pizza, candy and booze.

I don't think I could ever be a trainer. As much as I love the thought I just have zero tolerance for laziness and excuses.

I know it's fucking hard, you think I don't?! I was fat! I was sick and depressed and so out of shape it was ridiculous. I've lost 40lbs pounds and kept it off, I didn't do that by saying "Yeah but I want to eat cake or I'm tired I'll do it tomorrow."

All the people that bitch to me about how hard it is to be fit, I'm going to start telling them to fuck off. I just don't want to hear it anymore. My middle finger is gonna get a lot of extra exercise.

Buck up and take care of yourself or shut up about it.

You don't have to be nazi about your training and there is a time and place to celebrate and party. You just don't celebrate everyday.

If you don't care about really committing yourself to new principles and ideals then quit being a poser. Quit wasting your money on workout DVDs you never do and fitness mags for routines you never follow. Quit cutting out pictures of bodies you idolize and liking every fucking post on Facebook from a fitness model. And for god sakes stop getting a gym membership you never use. Just stop it.

I never want to hear another person tell me how tired they are and how they "just don't have time." I get up at 4:30 am and make time. I work 10hrs normal, in a high stress environment and deal with some of the shittiest people on the planet.

Make time or stop complaining.

You want advice, respect who you are asking. You want help then take it when it's graciously offered. But don't you dare make excuses, because that's like you spitting in someones face.

I'm into a ton of other things. Music, Art, Gaming. Small talk to me about the Weather, Politics, Religion if you feel brave, but stop talking fitness with me if you don't care. I just can't take being your empathetic cheerleader anymore.

"Why?": A question I'm getting asked a lot these days.

I've been saying "No" to a lot of things lately. No to bad food, sweets, getting drunk, staying out super late and pretty much any situation that would lead me to unnecessary temptation.

I'm not compromising myself and because of this I have a few people saying I'm working too hard.

I get asked a lot why I put so much focus into training and eating healthy. People hear that you're doing it because you want to and they get really confused. "Are you doing a competition or race? Are you going to a wedding or a reunion or something? Why train hard just because?"

Why can't I have a competition with myself?

I'll tell you flat out that competing with your own mind is far superior then being compared to others. There are a lot of people out there who run fast, or can lift super heavy. I found I stick with something far longer if I DON'T try to out do someone else. I just try to outdo myself :)

Gaining inspiration from others is fantastic, but no one is going to motivate you more then you. Ladies you will never look like Ava Cowan, Jamie Eason or Zuzana Light, just like you'll never look like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Why? BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT THEM. You don't have their genetics.

I'm not saying you can't train like them, become as fit or get down to their body fat percentage, but even if you achieve all this, you still will never look like them because you are you - EMBRACE THAT.

I train hard because it's the one way I try to love myself. I find that's a constant battle that's always uphill. I train hard because I know that no one, not family, friends or lovers will ever love me as much as my body loves me after hitting the iron as hard as I can. I train to show myself I'm stronger then I ever thought possible. I do it to overcome myself.

You want unconditional love, you want to feel amazing and have self respect? Then use your body and make it do what you want. It's control, respect and love all rolled up into an hour a day. Eating right is the fuel to do all the things you thought you never could. It supports that body you want to have and keep the results of the training you work so hard for.

I deserve to love myself that way and so does everyone else. I'll be damned if I let anyone try to take that away from me. I don't care how "un-fun" that makes me, no one gets to determine the way I show my body or myself love.

Things get hard. Just like everyone else I get depressed and slackerish. I second guess, I self loathe,  but eventually I realize that if I keep on top of training and eating well I'm doing something for myself.

It's natural to want a sibling/friend/partner that supports and drives you. The thing is you work with what you have. I'm always my own coach and fan club. I'm not saying I don't have people who root for me, or say "Hey that's really awesome what you're doing I wish I could do that," but they aren't there making me push myself.

I know I've said this before, but no one can disappoint you, but you. Everyday is a new one to show yourself you're dedicated to you. Not to your job, or to your bank account, not to the expectations of others... just YOU.

I train hard and I do it for me.

Into LiveFit Week 3:: Make your breakfast work for you!

This Saturday marked the start of my third week of LiveFit training. I'm happy to report that all is going well and I'm really excited at the increase in intensity with the weight training. This program is introducing me to some exercises that I really didn't do much of on my own, which was one of the main reasons I wanted to do this.

I always find that switching up a workout routine to be fun because it forces me to think differently. I like feeling new types of muscle soreness because it let's me know I'm using my body in new ways!

This week means I'll be adding one more day at the gym (an extra leg day). It's my hardest day, but that also make it the most rewarding. I've tried to also stay on top of my stretching as much as possible to prevent any injuries. My quads are naturally insanely tight, which can make squats and lunges more taxing if I don't!

I'm happy to report that my eating is also on track. I'm find myself really enjoying my Sundays of dancing and cooking in the kitchen. Preparing all my food at once is only time consuming for a little bit compared to not having to cook for a whole week and I'm loving it.  Today I put on 80's music and just sang and dance my whole way through. I've made it a bit of a game for myself one could argue another mini workout seeing as how much I was dancing around!

I found that my desire for sweets has once again rapidly diminished even under periods of stress. I'm not tempted in the least for chocolate, which I must say is rewarding all on it's own.

I did buy some new non-stick skillets which are really rocking my world. I just broke down and got some new ones and it's really help decrease my clean up time and the amount of oil I use when cooking. I've only ever cooked with extra virgin olive oil, which is great for you in moderation, it's just nice to know that now a little goes a much longer way since it's not seeping into the metal pan.

My discovery thus far with eating has really been with breakfast. I've always eaten breakfast, but now doing it much earlier is helping me through my workouts. Getting up just that little bit earlier for my yummy egg white and spinach omelet has been completely worth it. I make sure I give myself enough time to eat and digest a little and I don't get so fatigue during my morning gym time. Also I'm still eating a little bit once I get back home to replace what I've burned. It's usually when I have my banana and a little bit more protein. I really do feel my body absorbing it and it's quite a refreshing feeling.

I cannot stress how important it is to eat a solid protein breakfast. At rest your body is fasting, using up everything while you sleep. Empty belly means no energy! I usually eat about 5 egg whites before I workout now and it's helped so much.

Also I have a new love of quart sized egg whites only cartons, so much easier then separating the yolks out every morning <3

LiveFit Week 1 overview:: The important practice of will power

The start to my LiveFit training has been successful. Jamie has constructed the program to ease you in to completely changing the way you eat (and for some working out).

After my first week the biggest change for me is diet. Not with what I eat, but how frequently and how much. I can understand why this is only a 12 week program, I can't imagine eating with this frequency for the long term. I understand the concept of upping metabolism and confusing the body into using food as fuel in the most efficient way possible.

All I can say is LiveFit is not for the casual gym goer nor for someone who lacks discipline.

I'd go as far as saying I definitely wouldn't recommend even doing this program until you've trained yourself with just going to the gym on a regular basis and practiced eating a healthy 3 meals a day for at least a year. I can see the average person getting really flustered on this regimen, because I know it's already taxing for me.

I realized as I started this past week to even keep on top of my eating in conjunction with my work scheduled I'd have to cook as many meals in advance as possible. My life is mostly commuting and working so the kitchen doesn't factor in. I've dedicated my Saturdays to food planning and shopping and my Sundays to cooking.

This worked out really great last week and this week I should be solid until Thursday rolls around. I might have to get creative on Friday and hit the market again we'll see. I've taken a few of Jamie's recipes and modified them to fit my veggie diet and I'll say right now they've worked out fabulous.

Even this all this extra eating I have found that I'm getting the groove. I'm not always hungry and smaller amounts of food do satisfy me. Sometimes I do have to force myself to eat though. The first few days were the hardest as I'm not use to eating a full breakfast and then hitting the gym and then eating again.

Like I said the nutrition is going to be the hardest for me with this training, least right now. The workout routines are currently not as taxing as what I usually put myself through and I'm assuming that because the intensity will change as the weeks go on.

Today I tried to read ahead in the plan and I see I'm going to have to invest in a food scale and log. It's fine, but I can tell the reason this works will come down to a strict science in macronutrients and carb cycling. Something I've never done, but have read about. It's not a way of life, but I've committed myself to trying to follow this program as strict as possible.

I'm actually not trying to lose weight, I'm trying to gain. I know that sounds insane, but I wanted to see how much muscle I could gain and I know that I needed help with the nutrition part the most. Doing this program is really more about will power and discipline for me. I know that every now and again I need to force myself to uphold a certain code. There is something about resisting urge and training your mind in conjunction with training your body.

Will power is learned and if you never practice it you'll never be good at it. It's very much a skill and it's taken me quite a while to except that. Knowing you have control is very powerful, but you have to commit. I'm already feeling good about some things that happened this week that were intensely stressful and I did not falter. I did not comfort myself with bad food and drink.

Tomorrow will be day 10 of 84 and I'm feeling great. I'm confident I'll finish this week off just as strong and I'm looking forward to more intense workouts.

Calories & Macro-nutrients WTF?!

What exactly is a calorie? A calorie is a unit of heat equal to the amount of heat needed to raise the temperature of 1,000 grams of water by one degree Celsius.

A more basic answer: A calorie is a unit to measure the energy which is the fuel for our bodies.

So why is it so scary and confusing?
I'd say because most people don't know how much energy they expend so they don't know how much fuel they need. There is no physical meter like with our cars. When the tank is empty the car won't run, fill the tank too much and you have bad smelling shoes and a possible explosive situation.

Some people believe if they stay within a certain calorie limit they can eat whatever they want. So I ask this question: what's better, eating 1500 calories a day of donuts or 1500 calories of veggies and lean meats? The problem with the way most people look at nutrition is they don't look at what's called "macro-nutrients".

I know I'm throwing some fancy words right now, but their premise is very simple. Macro-nutrients are substances needed for growth, metabolism, and for other body functions that are required in large amounts. There are three broad classes of macro-nutrients: proteins, carbohydrates, and fats.

This means, for example, if you're consuming on average 1500 calories a day the breakdown from where that energy is coming from is protein, cabs and fats (these are measured in grams). Not having a proper balance of these nutrients is why people have trouble with diet. Intakes of sugars, sodium and cholesterol are also a factor.

You want to be able to hit the proper levels of your macro-nutrients without exceeding the number of calories you need to fuel your daily activities. This is easily shown in foods that aren't good for you. They are usually very high in calories without benefiting your body in proper nutrients. High in either sugar, sodium and/or cholesterol and usually contain chemicals and preservatives, it's what's called "empty calories."

The calories you want are from what's commonly referred to as "clean foods, or clean eating". This is the premise that all of your nutrients should be coming from foods in their most pure form. Trust me when I say this alone will make your trips to the grocery store a breeze. You can pretty much skip the middle sections everything is on the outskirts! Fresh produce, when things aren't in season I buy canned or frozen and always check to make sure there is no added salt or sugars. The butcher/fish man for fresh lean meats. The dairy section for eggs, light milks and yogurts. Grains should always be whole and nuts should be raw and these should be sampled in moderation. Sounds too simple, it really is that easy.

Once you get use to eating more clean food you will notice how your body rejects processed food. My lowered tolerance for lactose aside I can barely eat anything that isn't pure now. There is so much sodium in most packaged foods I get too bloated and feel too ill to enjoy it.

Also with eating a proper balance of good clean foods you will notice a new form of energy. Exercise won't seem as terribly labored, you'll sleep much better and will wake up feeling more "empty" because your body is using everything. Your mood will be elevated and you'll feel better in tune with how your body feels.

This is essentially the lead into learning how to form a balanced diet. You might have to rewire your thoughts on food, but once you start to understand what your food is doing for you it's not as obscure.

Hope this helped explain the basic components of where are energy comes from in a fairly easy light. I'll be doing more detailed and longer nutrition posts in the following weeks so stay tuned :)