You're so vain, you probably think this post is about you.

Last post I talked about the "why" and today I'm going to talk about the "how".

How do you stay motivated to hit your goals and keep a steady routine of exercise and eating healthy?

Well I can't speak for everyone else, so I'm going to tell you how I got started and how I always kick myself in the butt when I'm slacking.

The simple answer is vanity.

There is no reason to sugarcoat it and in fact it's being honest about vanity that makes going to the gym that much easier.

I'm going to be very open and honest about this because I think people get the wrong side of a lot of these "transformation" stories. I wasn't obese. I was far from healthy, but I never got to that point where a doctor was telling me if I didn't loose weight I'd develop diabetes. I did have high blood pressure problems from stress, but my doctors never told me cardio alone could elevate that. It was all a talk about bad genetics.

The reason I started on my path to fitness was because I thought it would make my boyfriend at the time love me more. This is as plain as I can be on the matter.

I didn't feel good about myself, I was crazy self conscience and hated how I looked in everything I wore. I was ashamed to be with such a cute guy and feel so frumpy next to him. He NEVER said a word about my weight, never criticized me or told me I could lose a few pounds, but I felt he didn't love me as much because I wasn't as beautiful as I could be.

When I started my training with Terri Walsh she made me do something really important and that was admitting why I was there to train.

"To get healthy!" is what I spouted out and to a point that was very true, but it really wasn't the reason I was there.

I remember Terri looking at me and saying "Yeah ok, but why are you really here."

I didn't understand, wasn't wanting to be healthy enough? She forced me to think about it, she forced me to admit it and it was the most freeing thing that happened in my body breakthrough.

"You want to look cute in a pair of skinny jeans, that's why you're here." Terri said.

She was completely and totally right. I wanted to go into a clothing store and love everything I put on. I wanted to look in the mirror at a naked me and not completely cringe. I wanted to look good!

Terri taught me that vanity is probably the greatest motivator for keeping true to your fitness and eating. Mostly importantly that it's okay, vanity with discipline is not a bad thing!

Vanity is a large part of how my decisions are made. Do I want to binge eat or look amazing in a bathing suit? The answer isn't hard to come to when you look at things that way.  I WANT a cute butt, I can forgo pizza for that and do a serious leg workout twice a week. That's why sticking to a plan is easy for me. I'm vain and open about it with myself.

Now health is a big part, but it's almost like the extra awesome bonus. I can't see my heart or my cholesterol. Someone can measure them with a machine and take my blood, but I can't look in the mirror and say "Damn my arteries are fantastic today!"

I can however look in the mirror at how flat my stomach is and how defined my shoulders are getting. Why do you think there are always so many mirrors at the gym? Don't kid yourself, those are not all for form... those are to gawk at progress to pump yourself up!

I don't have the highest self-esteem and that's how I've fallen unto scary places with making food a security blanket, but I've learned from that and now force myself to answer questions about my looks before I slip.

The sooner you admit to wanting to look awesome the easier it will be to stay looking awesome.
Take pictures of yourself often, it will force you to keep yourself in check and accountable!

Next stop for me is a full length mirror, it's been long enough I think I'm over my fear now.

"Why?": A question I'm getting asked a lot these days.

I've been saying "No" to a lot of things lately. No to bad food, sweets, getting drunk, staying out super late and pretty much any situation that would lead me to unnecessary temptation.

I'm not compromising myself and because of this I have a few people saying I'm working too hard.

I get asked a lot why I put so much focus into training and eating healthy. People hear that you're doing it because you want to and they get really confused. "Are you doing a competition or race? Are you going to a wedding or a reunion or something? Why train hard just because?"

Why can't I have a competition with myself?

I'll tell you flat out that competing with your own mind is far superior then being compared to others. There are a lot of people out there who run fast, or can lift super heavy. I found I stick with something far longer if I DON'T try to out do someone else. I just try to outdo myself :)

Gaining inspiration from others is fantastic, but no one is going to motivate you more then you. Ladies you will never look like Ava Cowan, Jamie Eason or Zuzana Light, just like you'll never look like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Why? BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT THEM. You don't have their genetics.

I'm not saying you can't train like them, become as fit or get down to their body fat percentage, but even if you achieve all this, you still will never look like them because you are you - EMBRACE THAT.

I train hard because it's the one way I try to love myself. I find that's a constant battle that's always uphill. I train hard because I know that no one, not family, friends or lovers will ever love me as much as my body loves me after hitting the iron as hard as I can. I train to show myself I'm stronger then I ever thought possible. I do it to overcome myself.

You want unconditional love, you want to feel amazing and have self respect? Then use your body and make it do what you want. It's control, respect and love all rolled up into an hour a day. Eating right is the fuel to do all the things you thought you never could. It supports that body you want to have and keep the results of the training you work so hard for.

I deserve to love myself that way and so does everyone else. I'll be damned if I let anyone try to take that away from me. I don't care how "un-fun" that makes me, no one gets to determine the way I show my body or myself love.

Things get hard. Just like everyone else I get depressed and slackerish. I second guess, I self loathe,  but eventually I realize that if I keep on top of training and eating well I'm doing something for myself.

It's natural to want a sibling/friend/partner that supports and drives you. The thing is you work with what you have. I'm always my own coach and fan club. I'm not saying I don't have people who root for me, or say "Hey that's really awesome what you're doing I wish I could do that," but they aren't there making me push myself.

I know I've said this before, but no one can disappoint you, but you. Everyday is a new one to show yourself you're dedicated to you. Not to your job, or to your bank account, not to the expectations of others... just YOU.

I train hard and I do it for me.

Hangups

I need to get over my hangups.

Man, it's been a very rough May. I'm trying really hard to adjust to all the changes that have been happening, but it's all happening so fast my only reaction is stress.

I'm use to routine, I like having one. So when life gets super insane for me I have trouble dealing with no routine. Terri has been really great in reminding our bootcamp class that fitness is what helps you deal with all the craziness in your life. Using your body and treating it with respect is what gets your brain through really trying times.

I love hearing her say things like this because it helps me focus again. I wish I had a little recording of the great things she says some times so I could just play them to help focus me again. I try to hear her voice when I feel really down about myself or my day, she's the best source of triumph in my life. She's helped me over come so many barriers.

Still with all the great encouragement and mentoring I get I still have mental hangups I need to work on.

It's hard to think about yourself in a different light when you were a certain way for a very long time. I didn't like the way I looked for almost 6 years, so now that my body it changing I can get a little obsessed.

Case in point, it's hard to think about me loving my body in a bikini still. It's hard for me to think I could wear a certain style of clothing or be an inspiration to others working hard to meet their fitness goals too. My brain has yet to catch up to my body. Which is really quite strange for me.

Yesterday Clint and I went shopping. Both of us need new treads for this summer since it's FINALLY warm now. Because I have dressed a certain way for so long, summer clothing always intimidates me. I know I wrote a post a month or so ago about how fun it is for me to be able to try on clothing and like how I look in it. It's true, but there are still things I get unsure about because I just don't really wear them.

Skirts and short dresses are probably the thing that terrify me the most. I have this mental block about my legs I just cannot get over. My whole life it's plagued me, more then my midsection or my arms or face or anything. My legs and I do not get along.

I tried a skirt on yesterday, it was really cute. Something I'd probably see on someone else and fall in love with. The problem was I felt awkward in it, not because it was uncomfortable, but because my legs were so exposed. I just kept turning around and freaking out about all my still existing cellulite. I kept thinking to myself "Do I look ridiculous in this?"

I should of bought it, it would have been a really great step toward excepting myself, but I couldn't. Even after I had gone to the gym that morning and muscled through an extremely tough glute/leg workout, it wasn't enough to boost my self-confidence.

I know a lot of women out there have body issues of some kind. Even with all my hard work and learning I still have mine too. I just hope I can get over them because I really truly hate being paralyzed by fear and doubt. I don't like the way it makes me feel and I know I'm better and stronger then my fears, it's just my brain needs to catch up.

Maybe I'll go back tomorrow and try the skirt on again. I'll bring my positive thoughts and a little bit of Terri's strong encouraging words.

Haters gonna hate, walk proud

You can't always rely on others to motivate you or give you confidence. If you've made the decision to change your ways and start building a healthy lifestyle it has to be a personal choice. It's always great to know you have family and friends supporting you, even trying to help you reach the goals you set for yourself, but in the end you are the only person who can reach them.

Not all people are truly confident in themselves, it's hard because sometimes we feel it's being vain or boastful. Were taught not to be prideful, but there is a clear distinction between being proud of who you are and thinking you're some sort of god.

I've really had to learn to be proud of myself and not compare myself to others accomplishments. There is only one of me, therefore I can only compare achievements against what I've already done. If people stopped comparing themselves to others I think we'd all have a little more self confidence, especially when it comes to fitness!

Even I'm guilty of wanting to look like certain fitness models and I aspire to reach a point where I can bare all with a smile being completely happy in my skin. It's work and every day I get closer to NOT hating my body.

The reason I bring up self confidence today is because I've gotten my share or two of haters hating. Guys at the gym hassling me about weightlifting, people I work with telling me I'm crazy for getting up as early as I do to workout. Even friends who are generally interested in what I'm doing and how I'm changing my body are very quick to tell me that trying to get a six-pack is a pipe dream and I should just be happy that I'm not obese.

I want those washboard abs, that's something I want and if I actually listened to everyone who told me it was impossible or how miserable I was going to be not eating chocolate I'd never be as far as I am.

People are naturally resentful. Sounds a bit pessimistic, I agree, but I've found this to be fairly accurate. While others will be happy for you (or say so), they always compare to what they have or don't have. This is why some of my friends find it hard to stick with a workout routine or nutrition plan. Peer pressure drives them to think wanting to be healthy and look amazing and fit is vain. That you're not fun if you don't want to go binge drinking or lame for going to bed at 10pm.

I've turned down many things I knew might either lead me to unnecessary temptation OR put me in a position to be ridiculed. Reaching your goals is inspiring to most people, but the path is filled with rough spots.

You have to believe in yourself to be truly happy and healthy. It takes more time with some people and I've learned that it's okay to want to look good and feel great. Everyone on this planet should want that for themselves. It's pure choice, for most of us, that makes things otherwise.

So don't get discouraged if you can't bench as much as another member of your gym or if someone tells you you're crazy for giving up lattes. It's also really important to keep track of the mini milestones as well! Knowing you've gone 2 weeks without caffeine, or that you can do 3 more push-ups is just as important as finally losing that first 10lbs.

Never ever ever let anyone tell you, you CAN'T do something. Whatever it is. This doesn't just go for fitness, but everything in your life. If you listen to everyone (even yourself) say "you can't" you never will. That's why even though I can't do a pull-up on my own, I can do many assisted ones. The more I practice the closer I get. I know if I keep trying eventually I will, that's why I never give up.

Always try, the most important things are worth working for. And while I might have to remind myself every now and again, that I'm doing a good job I'll never lie and say it's easy.

Something to practice is for every flaw you think you have, counter your thought with a positive attribute about yourself. If I'm hating on my legs I try to think about how much I love my shoulders and then I try to have the best lower body workout and feel 1000 times better about everything.

You can't change everything about yourself in a split second, but with perseverance and confidence in yourself you will see change. This is coming from someone that had no self-esteem about a year ago. The more you work the better you feel and the stronger you become the more you want to achieve.

Take each day one at a time and try to do something that makes you feel good about yourself. Trust me, it gets easier :)